How to Be a Good Stepmom – Do’s and Don’ts

Being a parent is a daunting task and gets even more harrowing if you are the stepmom. Having to be a substitute and entering your partner’s life at a stage where he is estranged from the mother of his children, is surely a messy business. But don’t worry, we have a a few do’s and don’ts that can make the process of acceptance and forbearance easier.

Do’s

Spend quality time with your stepchildren

In order to have a good relationship with your stepchildren, it is imperative to spend quality time with them. Have meaningful, one-on-one interactions with them to ensure that they find comfort in your company. You can make this simpler by spending your private time doing different activities that each of them likes .

Your partner should continue to be the parent

The need to see their father still fulfilling all his duties as before, is very important to the children. Being convinced that things are just as normal as they were earlier, will make them more readily accept you. It is better to take a backseat and operate as a babysitter or an aunt than as the ‘mother’ that you are not. This will leave you more time for activities that you can do with the kids, thus keeping your partner happy as well.

Create and follow the house rules

Abiding by certain set of house-rules will create a level of mutual respect in the family. If the stepchildren are old enough, involve them in creating these rules. It is seen that children establish stricter punishments for breaking a rule than adults. If there is a transgression, these house rules help bring a consensus. It is imperative to work together so that the children know that they cannot “divide and conquer.”

Accept the love that you have for them and vice- versa

Love is a powerful emotion, but sadly it can’t be forced. If you have genuine love for your stepchildren then that is a blessing. But if that does not happen, then accept things the way they are. This logic applies to the children as well. So as long as there is a feeling of mutual kindness, compassion, and respect between each other, you can surely sustain a healthy relationship.

Model the good behavior you want your children to adopt

When the children perceive you as being a warm, kind and respectful person, it goes a long way towards building a healthy rapport between you and them. They will believe that you truly are the responsible and kind human being that you want them to be. If you want them to be comfortable around you, make it clear to them that you too feel comfortable around them, by coming across as being fun-loving and easy going when appropriate.

Don’ts

Don’t try to be the disciplinarian

It’s important for you to always remember that their biological mom, in all likelihood, is still a far greater influence on their lives than you are. Hence any attempt to discipline the children will mostly end with them resenting you. That is why mental health expert would say that it’s your partner’s responsibility to discipline the children. Although, if it becomes totally unavoidable, do discipline them in as gentle and understanding a manner as possible.

Don’t take words and expressions personally

It takes several years for step families to gel. The children are most vulnerable and might resent you for taking their mom’s position. This leads to them rejecting your warmth and attention. Hence any seemingly hurtful or unkind actions or words that they direct towards you should not be taken personally. They should be merely treated as words and nothing else.

Don’t forcibly try to be a “Mom”

Accept the fact that you are a step parent and don’t try to make any attempts to be any other kind of parent. You don’t want to give them the feeling of usurpation, hence don’t expect or force the children to call you “Mom”. It’s better and easier to be a buddy, mentor or even a confidante.

Recommended Read: 10 Healthy Snacks for Kids

Avoid favoritism

Make sure every child is poured with equal affection. It’s a terrible feeling to know that your sibling and not you gets special attention for no fault of yours. The children need to be reassured that they are both equally loved and valued.

Don’t expect perfection in the relationship

Always remember that the stereotypical ‘happy family’ with no problems is a myth. It’s important for you’ll to bear the rough patches and pull through. After all that isn’t that all what life’s about?

Related Reading

Tips for Buying the Best Dog Food

Most of the dogs do not have a food fuss and may eat almost anything that you feed them. Dogs are not choosy at all when it comes to food and nutrition. Hence, it is important to make sure that the food that you are purchasing for your dog is healthy. The landscape of dog food has been developing by leaps and bounds in recent times. There is a wide variety of options to choose from in the online and offline market. Given the wide range of options that are available today, buying the best dog food might seem to be a confusing task indeed. All the commercial pet food that is available in the market today is regulated by the FDA. Therefore, most of the products do contain nutritious, healthy, and safe ingredients. But it does help to know certain basic factors you should look for while buying food for your dog. Prioritize on the nutritional guarantee The best dog food, which meets the dog’s needs adequately has a statement written on the label of the product, from the Association of American Feed Control Officials. Buy from some of the best dog food brands, such as Fromm Family Foods, Earthborn Holistic, Nature’s Variety Instinct, and The Honest Kitchen.

Different Types of Kitchen Cabinets Available for Your Home

The most important aspect when designing your kitchen is deciding on the type of cabinets. In addition to functionality, kitchen cabinets score on aesthetics as well. Once the layout is planned, you can go ahead with choosing the cabinets. If you’re remodeling your home or just the kitchen, what you need to consider are the types of cabinets that furnish your kitchen. Here are a few types of kitchen cabinets that you can choose from. Base cabinets These kitchen cabinets are mounted on the floor and they are placed after checking out the floor plan. A major part of your job in the kitchen is on these base cabinets, which hold and support the countertops. These base cabinets are combined to carve out kitchen islands. A number of base cabinets are fused/set against one another and installed on site. The base cabinets, in addition to supporting the countertops, serve as drawers to hold your cutlery and appliances. Wall cabinets Mounted on the walls, these cabinets can store everything, right from your cookware to cookbooks. In terms of design, they offer utmost flexibility. Wall cabinet kitchen is available in varying heights, multiple widths, and custom depth options. This customization helps you to fit in your stuff of varying shapes and sizes into the wall cabinets.

How to Pick the Right Dog Food for a Sensitive Stomach

In today’s world, where you are presented with over a dozen choices for every item you would purchase for your own kitchen, it is not surprising that you have an equal number of options for your dog’s food. However, choosing the perfect brand and formula for your dog out of a range of options in the market is not an easy job. Your pet depends on you and trusts you to make the right choice for them. Therefore, it is imperative that you do your research about the products available in the market, understand what your dog needs, know what might be your pet’s problems, and then make a sound decision. What is a sensitive stomach? Dogs are known to have voracious and large appetites. Keeping that in mind, it is normal to assume that they have strong stomachs. They can eat close to anything be it sweets, bakes, chewy gum, hard leather or even woolen socks for that matter! It always so happens that the strongest of them are prone to allergies and can develop a disorder which is medically translated as a sensitive stomach. This might be due to a sudden change in the food habits or even due an infection picked up from somewhere.

All You Need to Know about Cat Food

For cat owners, cat food is a hot topic. You need to think about it in different aspects. The best thing is to know which ingredients are good for cat food and which are harmful. If you are aware of this, you can get an idea about the quality of the cat food just by going through the label. It is always sensible to stick to one brand of cat food. However, you may also want to try and prepare cat food yourself. There are also various options for wet cat food as well. Cat’s love for fish is universal, so you can do without going for expensive cat food. Nevertheless, whether you buy it or prepare cat food at home, you need to ensure that the food contains enough nutrition and calories. You would need to have some idea about the ingredients that must be present in cat food and make a worthy selection for your cat. Basic ingredients present in good cat foods Cats need a variety of nutrients to stay healthy and active; they need various vitamins, minerals, fats, proteins, and oils. The following is a brief explanation of the basic ingredients that should be present in cat foods.